I have the honor of working at Bright Hope ( www.brighthope.org ), an organization whose mission is “To bring Hope to those living on less than $1 a day.”  We work through the local churches in 9 countries and God is leading us to help transform 50 communities through sustainable solutions.  Our desire is to empower the people of the countries we serve by listening to what God is already doing there and joining them.   In Africa, we help with wells and microloans, in Latin America we work with street kids, in India we are rehabilitating young ladies who are rescued from brothels, in Africa we are sending young people to college and in Haiti we have school feeding programs.  Now, I have to say we do SOOO much more than that but I wanted to give you a brief idea of some of the projects we have.

This post isn’t solely to tell you about Bright Hope (although it is a shameless plug) it’s to tell you how my work is what catapulted my desire to start WSWE (one of the main reasons at least).  Tomorrow will be my 5^th time going to Haiti; it’s my 4^th time with Bright Hope. My last 3 trips have been quite the experience. Men kept asking if I was married, when I replied yes they would then continue to tell me I was beautiful and give me the crazy eye, like the “Hey girl, what yo name is?” eye.  I didn’t know what to say or do!  It was so awkward. On one of the trips it actually was an ongoing joke… anywhere I went there was a man somewhere looking at me or asking me questions.  It seems as though men there like girls with a little more on their bodies.  Nobody warned me of this!  It was a weird attention that became uncomfortable quickly.   When I came back and asked why they find “Lovelier” girls attractive, I learned it is because I look healthy and I can afford food.  When I heard that I was blown away.  I can afford food!  I can afford to eat and so I am beautiful!  Rich people buy food and are heavier.  That explained what happened on my first trip.  This guy thought I was royalty and I wasn’t even as heavy as I am today!  As much as I would like to say I only heard men tell me I was beautiful it wasn’t…

In the past 4 trips my weight has been mentioned.  Here is what it looked like:

• Trip 1: Walking around with an interpreter he asked “Are you a queen?” 
• Trip 2: Interpreter:  “Can you walk ok?  You are (gestured his hands as if his body was big).”
• Trip 3: Walking down the street with the little kids one of them said: “You are big.”
• Trip 4: Haitian Flag Day and gentleman from the community gave me the biggest smile I ever saw and said “You are fat.”

I wish I could say those comments didn’t hurt, but I wouldn’t remember them if they weren’t true.  Here I am, raising money and working for an organization that prays for God’s provision for money so that we can feed families and I am going to these countries an overweight woman!  There is no time where I feel bigger than in a third world country.  I am not just confronted by others but every day and everywhere I go I am aware of my weight.  It is HORRIBLE!  That is what I meant, when I said I am tired of distracting myself with myself!  I walk down the street and I see a baby with a big tummy and orange hair because of their malnutrition and I am convicted of how far I have let myself go!  It is probably one of the hardest things I have had to recognize; they do not have food and I go for seconds!  

Tomorrow I am heading back.  I have asked God to help me not be so self consumed.  I am also praying I am not worried and thinking about things we Americans stress about that are ABSOLUTELY minor in regards to what Haitians deal with daily.  I want to focus fully on the people there and be present with them and I want to be confident in knowing that I am taking steps to a healthier me, the one God wants me to be.  

I ask you that as you lay your head down tonight and the rest of your week that you would think of the least of these and say a prayer for those who are going to bed hungry.  I know this seems so far away and it doesn’t seem real but I promise you it is. 

As I pray for those I come in contact with in Haiti I will be praying for you as well.  I pray God give you the strength to go forward in your journey and your thoughts would be consumed by his goodness and not yourself. I pray God heal your heart if you have been hurt by words that someone else has said to you and then I pray you forgive the person(s) who said them.  Hearing someone say “You are fat” is not the easiest thing in the world.  But it isn’t something we can hold on to.  Weight loss is more than just doing exercise, sometimes that’s the easy part.  It’s recognizing where we are, forgive those who hurt us and move forward.  I have.  Have you?

 Be encouraged today…We can do this…The best is yet to come!

Madelynn

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” John 8:32